So I am now sitting on the patio of the Honolulu airport, drinking the most expensive “tall” cup of coffee I’ve had since I was robbed at some deluxe coffee place somewhere in Italy. $2.62 for this precious cup of joe, but well worth it after flying for oh, 15 hours. I only got a few hours of sleep thanks to a great night out and a heinously early flight, both of which seemed like such good ideas at the time, until my alarm went off at 4:40am and I lugged my suitcases to the metro, half asleep and def not bright and chirpy. Oh. PS. Don’t leave home without weighing your bags. I was a whopping 17 pounds over the pathetic 50 pound limit, and you guessed it, they cut off my right arm to pay for the excess weight. Well. Not quite but $90 is def highway (or airway?!) robbery, no doubt about it.
I was lucky enough to get a non-stop from Minneapolis to Honolulu, instead of stopping in Frisco. (Original flight plan: DC-Detroit-MSP-Frisco-Honoluuuuuulu) Would have taken me another 4 hours to be sitting in this gorgeous weather. Needless to say I passed out on all of my 3 flights. The descent to Oahu was breathtaking, with the most brilliant greens and blues reaching out from the land and sea, sunshine and 80deg weather confirming that Hawaii was one brilliant choice. My extended Sabbath may well turn into a much longer mini-vacay than originally planned. What those original plans are you might be wondering? All in good time, my friends, all in good time. What I do know is that I am here to learn how to surf, and I def think I can get used to this ALOHA thing!
1/23/09
1/18/09
Federal Stimulus
As a follow-up to the preceding post, check out this opinion piece from the WSJ, a shockingly blatant example of the Fed pushing private business around "for the common good" as it were. Sound familiar? Mugging Bank of America.
And did you know that "stimulus" is a synonym for "force"? Does the Fed really think that forcing an economy to work will be successful?
And did you know that "stimulus" is a synonym for "force"? Does the Fed really think that forcing an economy to work will be successful?
1/10/09
Atlas Shrugged
If you haven't read Ayn Rand, and if you don't even know what you are missing out on, then STOP. GET UP FROM YOUR COMPUTER AND GO TO THE NEAREST BOOKSTORE, LIBRARY, OR FRIEND'S HOUSE AND READ. Atlas Shrugged first. And then, well and then you can continue on with your life! The WSJ recently had a brilliant article relating Atlas Shrugged to today's financial throes. Well worth your time! 'Atlas Shrugged': From Fiction to Fact in 52 Years.
1/8/09
Life lessons
"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes ... and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility."
Eleanor Roosevelt
_____________________________________________________
To my dear Cousin Responsibility,
I'm glad you came to me for advice on how to raise your beautiful daughter. I have learned many things since my childhood, the most important of which is that all that stuff they taught me when I was young doesn't make a difference. When I was little I was taught that if I didn't eat my vegetables, instead of the candy and ice-cream I wanted, I wouldn't have this thing called a "balanced and nutritious diet". Whatever that meant exactly, I've learned as I've grown up that I can eat whatever I please, just as long as I pop a magic diet pill, or sign up for one of the monthly programs that jam my inbox. In fact, if things get really bad I can just get liposuction. Ha, someone pass the tub of ice-cream! Oh, and you know how you always told me true beauty is on the inside? Well it can't be true. You know why? Because the ASPS reports that almost 17 million people got plastic surgery in 2007, 25% more than 2000. Call me crazy, but you don't voluntarily go to SURGERY if you think being beautiful on the inside is good enough. Whatever this thing called Beauty means anyway.
And then there's money. I learned when I was a kid I had be careful with my money. First I had to do my chores to get my allowance, and then I was told to spend it wisely, because that's all I'd get. Well well, did young naive me think that in this difficult world such a wondrous thing as a credit card could exist? Imagine my joy when I found out that companies were fighting to get me to to use their blessed pieces of plastic. I may have raked up enough credit-card debt to rival the GDP of some African countries, but no worries! All I had to do was consolidate my loans, and poof, who cared that I never paid a bill on time? I never had to.
Which is why, when I went to buy a home, I knew that sorry loan officer wouldn't dare tell me no. The government would guarantee that I, who have never payed a credit card bill on time, would get a loan. Why? Because I deserve it of course! I've never done anything to deserve it, I've never been responsible with my money, but just the same, I deserved a loan, because I deserved to be a homeowner! Thank goodness the government sees that I just haven't had the same chances as those guys who made their own money and used it well. Things were different for me. So I gave the loan officer a smug look across the table as he mumbled something about "bad credit" and "substandard". He clearly was a lost relic of an age past, in this new progressive age I live in, these things made no sense.
Oh and while were on the topic of childhood myths, there was once this idea I heard about respecting my body. I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean, but I do know that I now can have sex with everyone and everyone, and guess what! It's all good for me, because I can just pop a pill, and that scary thing called pregnancy isn't a possibility anymore. Gosh. How did people used to have sex with so many people without some way of making sure nothing serious came of it? And those poor fools who get pregnant. Do they really think that there is a baby somewhere inside them before it is actually kicking and screaming? My friend had a baby shower the other day, I didn't see a baby, all I saw was a bump in her stomach. She must have thought I was a fool, but I brought her the ugly dish my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas, so it wasn't a real gift. And last week my other friend had a bump, but she said something about "getting rid of it", and this week she looks normal again. They can't be talking about the same thing, with those bumps.
I really can't believe all the lies I was fed as a child. Think about debate class. We debated a topic, and everyone went home enlightened, if not convinced of the opposing argument. Someone really should have taught my teacher about being PC. The other day one of my friends in CA donated money to support some law number "8". Anyway, he received some death threats and his house was vandalized. Didn't he know some causes are uncouth to support?
I'm sure I could go on, but I think you are beginning to understand why I tell you to just let young Impudence do whatever she wants. It will save her having to relearn the complicated game of life. Good luck, and know if you need anything, I'll probably be doing something more important.
Yours truly,
E. N. Lightened
Eleanor Roosevelt
_____________________________________________________
To my dear Cousin Responsibility,
I'm glad you came to me for advice on how to raise your beautiful daughter. I have learned many things since my childhood, the most important of which is that all that stuff they taught me when I was young doesn't make a difference. When I was little I was taught that if I didn't eat my vegetables, instead of the candy and ice-cream I wanted, I wouldn't have this thing called a "balanced and nutritious diet". Whatever that meant exactly, I've learned as I've grown up that I can eat whatever I please, just as long as I pop a magic diet pill, or sign up for one of the monthly programs that jam my inbox. In fact, if things get really bad I can just get liposuction. Ha, someone pass the tub of ice-cream! Oh, and you know how you always told me true beauty is on the inside? Well it can't be true. You know why? Because the ASPS reports that almost 17 million people got plastic surgery in 2007, 25% more than 2000. Call me crazy, but you don't voluntarily go to SURGERY if you think being beautiful on the inside is good enough. Whatever this thing called Beauty means anyway.
And then there's money. I learned when I was a kid I had be careful with my money. First I had to do my chores to get my allowance, and then I was told to spend it wisely, because that's all I'd get. Well well, did young naive me think that in this difficult world such a wondrous thing as a credit card could exist? Imagine my joy when I found out that companies were fighting to get me to to use their blessed pieces of plastic. I may have raked up enough credit-card debt to rival the GDP of some African countries, but no worries! All I had to do was consolidate my loans, and poof, who cared that I never paid a bill on time? I never had to.
Which is why, when I went to buy a home, I knew that sorry loan officer wouldn't dare tell me no. The government would guarantee that I, who have never payed a credit card bill on time, would get a loan. Why? Because I deserve it of course! I've never done anything to deserve it, I've never been responsible with my money, but just the same, I deserved a loan, because I deserved to be a homeowner! Thank goodness the government sees that I just haven't had the same chances as those guys who made their own money and used it well. Things were different for me. So I gave the loan officer a smug look across the table as he mumbled something about "bad credit" and "substandard". He clearly was a lost relic of an age past, in this new progressive age I live in, these things made no sense.
Oh and while were on the topic of childhood myths, there was once this idea I heard about respecting my body. I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean, but I do know that I now can have sex with everyone and everyone, and guess what! It's all good for me, because I can just pop a pill, and that scary thing called pregnancy isn't a possibility anymore. Gosh. How did people used to have sex with so many people without some way of making sure nothing serious came of it? And those poor fools who get pregnant. Do they really think that there is a baby somewhere inside them before it is actually kicking and screaming? My friend had a baby shower the other day, I didn't see a baby, all I saw was a bump in her stomach. She must have thought I was a fool, but I brought her the ugly dish my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas, so it wasn't a real gift. And last week my other friend had a bump, but she said something about "getting rid of it", and this week she looks normal again. They can't be talking about the same thing, with those bumps.
I really can't believe all the lies I was fed as a child. Think about debate class. We debated a topic, and everyone went home enlightened, if not convinced of the opposing argument. Someone really should have taught my teacher about being PC. The other day one of my friends in CA donated money to support some law number "8". Anyway, he received some death threats and his house was vandalized. Didn't he know some causes are uncouth to support?
I'm sure I could go on, but I think you are beginning to understand why I tell you to just let young Impudence do whatever she wants. It will save her having to relearn the complicated game of life. Good luck, and know if you need anything, I'll probably be doing something more important.
Yours truly,
E. N. Lightened
1/1/09
Happy New Year!!!
Happy New Year!!! So I thought 2009 should be a fun year... so I booked a ticket to Hawaii to learn how to surf! If you head out that way, look me up! Aloha!!
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